We've all been taught to venerate the dead. Where's the fun in that?! No one can take all their rotten secrets to the grave. Humans are just trash monsters that make mistakes, rub together and make more humans. So, let's grab some beers, bury inhibitions and dig up some dirt on history's most iconic departed.
January 24th, 2019 | 1 hr 1 min
art, artist, asshole, bull, comedy, cubist, drinking, drunk, great artist, history, legend, misogynist, paint, painter, picasso, podcast, sex, spain, womanizer
Let us paint you a picture of a shirtless, hairy Pablo Picasso mashing his sloppy paint brush into whomever came his way. Riding of the bulls, try riding of the doormats.
January 17th, 2019 | 1 hr 9 mins
20th century, aliens, antisocial, awkward, bestiality, comedy, conspiracy, crazy, currents, drinking, edison, electrical, electricity, elon musk, furries, history, infrastructure, inventor, nikola tesla, pigeons, podcast, power, rivalry, science, tesla
When Nikola Tesla wasn't conducting mad scientist electrical experiment, he enjoyed the tender moments with is one true love... a super sexual pigeon. That's right Elon Musk, Tesla was a furry!
January 10th, 2019 | 2 hrs 14 mins
19th century, america, civil war, comedy, death, drinking, failure, filibuster, freebooter, history, jerk, mercenary, merica, mexico, nashville, new orleans, nicaragua, podcast, racist, revolution, san fransisco, slavery, south, southern, tyrant, war, wimp
William Walker was a scrawny, entitled, doughy-eyed Southern racist that could not stop illegally invading Central America during the 19th century. Seeing that he was terrified of women, this was not your tequila fueled spring break like off of a 90s reality TV show. The only show he got was the dongs of his soldiers, as their pants rotted away on his death marches through the deserts and jungles of Mexico & Nicaragua.
January 3rd, 2019 | 1 hr 46 mins
bros, chivalry, comedy, crusade, fight, first crusade, france, history, knights, medieval, pillaging, podcast, royalty, swords, truck nutz, war, warfare
When you think of the Crusades, do you think of knights in shining armor? Try goose following idiots with purple Truck Nutz on tied to their horses! We take a look at Thomas de Marle, the 11th century moron that just couldn't stop pillaging. Thought chivalry was dead?!? You don't know the first thing about it.
December 27th, 2018 | 1 hr 31 mins
alcoholic, antisocial, beat, beat generation, comedy, cover up, drinking, drunk, fake, freeform, hipster, history, hobo, hypocrite, kerouac, long island, murder, northport, on the road, podcast, poet, reading, road trip, san fransisco, scroll, teenage
Beat legend Jack Kerouac joins the ranks of the Goof Troupe. His life and works are hailed as god-like by trust fund hipsters, free spirits that never out grew their teenage angst and men with grownie tails looking for an excuse to divorce their 3rd wive. We're stripping away all the bull and diving into the real Kerouac; his hypocritical conservative views, his mother-loving alcoholism and his accessory to murder.
December 20th, 2018 | 2 hrs 4 mins
2018, century, christmas, comedy, countdown, death, history, holiday, idiots, new years, new years eve, podcast, special
It's that time of year! The 2018 Roast Mortem Countdown is upon us. We're counting down the 10 ten dead idiots that died on the 18th year of their centuries. So suck some eggnog, get spicy and deck your balls with some premium roasting!
December 13th, 2018 | 1 hr 47 mins
1 percent, 1%, 1990s, 2018, 41, america, bush 41, central america, cheerleading, cia, civil rights, comedy, crime, democrat, drugs, elite, george bush, gulf war, history, hw, iraq, nazi, oil, podcast, president, reagan, republican, robber baron, shadow ops, shadow wars, skull and bones, south america, vietnam, war crimes, war on drugs, wealth, yale
What do CIA funded death squads, Yale cheerleading and oily Kuwaiti handjobs have in common? Why, President George HW Bush, of course! This is our anti-eulogy to the war criminal with the craaaaazy, waaaacky socks you've been hearing about.
December 6th, 2018 | 1 hr 40 mins
british military, comedy, con artist, desert island, drinking, filibuster, fraud, freebooting, getaway, history, imperialism, military, new world, paradise, podcast, reinventing your life, scam, scotland, south america, starvation, survival, transatlantic, venezuela
Tired of rainy 19th century Scotland? Come to the South American Paradise of Poyias! We DEFINITELY have an Opera house, streets paved with gold... Hell we might even have running water! All you have to do is give all your money to Gregor MacGregor and jump on that boat.
November 29th, 2018 | 1 hr 34 mins
19th century, america, bone, bone wars, brontosaurus, comedy, dig, dinosaurs, discovery, drinking, excavation, explosives, feud, fossils, frontier, history, jurassic park, mining, moron, natural history, naturalist, nerd, paleontologist, paleontology, podcast, race, research, rivalry, science, scientific discovery, scientist, skeletons, tnt, wild west
Seen the documentary Jurassic Park? Think you know dinosaurs? Well, Edward Drink Cope sure doesn't... Even though he discovered a whole bunch of 'em. This dangus started a Bone War that shook the field of paleontology for centuries.
November 22nd, 2018 | 1 hr 39 mins
blood, blood sport, brutal, colosseum, comedy, demagogue, despot, drinking, emperor, entitled, fall of rome, famine, fight, fire, gladiator, history, imperial, murder, party, podcast, roman, roman emperor, rome, trust fund, tyrant
Hey Ridley Scott! Think your Gladiator movie was so cool... Well Roast Mortem tells it better. You left out the parts where people drink out of penis cups like they are at a shitty Roman Dick's Last Resort.
November 15th, 2018 | 1 hr 43 mins
30s, comedy, django, drinking, france, french, guitar, guitar legend, gypsy, gypsy jazz, history, jazz, jazz guitar, music, music history, podcast, romani, swing, traveling
We learn what it means to be a gypsy jazz guitar legend... Be extra French, smoke a billion cigarettes, blow off shows to go drunk fishing, and permanently screw up your meat claws in a caravan fire. Worked for Django Reinhardt.
November 8th, 2018 | 1 hr 47 mins
19th century, 50 cent, affair, america, anger, brutal, campaign, comedy, currency, democrat, deregulation, dollar, drinking, duel, elections, expansionism, genocide, history, imperialism, jackson, manifest destiny, military, money, native american, old dead dude, oppression, pistol, podcast, politics, president, revolution, ruler, scandal, shot, trail of tears, trump, us history, usa, war, war of 1812, western democracy
You might know him as the 20 Dollar Bill Boy but in his time he was simply known as President Andrew Jackson. When he wasn't physically stealing other peoples wives, this wacky waving inflatable man was flexing America's Manifest Destiny boner, by systematically destroying native culture and spreading slavery. As his pet parrot would scream during his funeral 'ASSHOLE!'
October 30th, 2018 | 1 hr 56 mins
actor, affair, bela lugosi, boris karloff, classic film, comedy, dracula, drama queen, drinking, drunk, film, frankenstein, halloween, history, hollywood, lon chaney jr, monster, monster movies, podcast, scandal, universal monster movies, vampire, werewolf, wolfman
We take a look behind the scenes at three of the most iconic Hollywood Universal Monsters, Lon Chaney Jr, Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. We'll they weren't the monsters.. actually they kind of were. Frankenstein, Dracula, The Wolf Man and The Mummy all in one room with one cookie. Who will finish last?!
October 25th, 2018 | 1 hr 20 mins
17th century, britain, church, comedy, crazy, crime, devil, devil worship, drinking, england, familiars, fraud, girls gone wild, halloween, history, murder, persecution, podcast, puritan, religion, satan, satanic, spirits, torture, uk, witch, witch hunting, witchcraft, zealot
Witches Gone Wild! Matthew Hopkins, self-proclaimed Witch-Finder General, is about to turn your small English village into the hottest satanic spring break ever! The girls are up all night (against their will), ready to show off their hard extra nipples, and getting wet from hours of being dunked underwater for a confession of witchcraft!
Yeah... Hopkins is that kind of zealot monster.
October 18th, 2018 | 1 hr 42 mins
britain, clairvoyant, classified information, comedy, crime, debunk, drinking, ectoplasm, fraud, ghost, ghost hunters, ghosts, history, mi5, podcast, psychic, scotland, seance, spirit, talking to the dead, uk, war, witch, witchcraft, world war, ww1, ww2, wwi, wwii
Witchcraft! Clairvoyance! Shoving cheese cloth up your vagina! We're taking an 'in-depth' look at Britain's last witch, Hellish Nell and her stinky, slimy ectoplasmic discharge.
October 11th, 2018 | 1 hr 26 mins
all star, assault, bad sportsmanship, baseball, bases, brawling, comedy, drinking, fighting, history, legend, murder, playing dirty, podcast, sports, sports legend
Baseball legend Ty Cobb played a dirty game on and off the diamond. His hobbies included…pistol whipping men to death, picking fights with amputees and digging out viscera from between his cleats. His level of violence really knocked it out of the park.