Roast Mortem Cast

Dead men tell no tales. So we do it for them.

About the show

We've all been taught to venerate the dead. Where's the fun in that?! No one can take all their rotten secrets to the grave. Humans are just trash monsters that make mistakes, rub together and make more humans. So, let's grab some beers, bury inhibitions and dig up some dirt on history's most iconic departed.

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Episodes

  • 92 - Charlie Chaplin: Silent Film Sex Addict

    August 15th, 2019  |  1 hr 58 mins
    1920s, 1930s, 20th century, actor, comedian, comedy, communist, drinking, drugs, film, history, hollywood, megalomaniac, movie history, movies, orgies, podcast, sex, sex addict, silent film, slapstick, underage

    Chapin was arguably the world's greatest physical comedians. On the silver screen he was the lovable Tramp, behind the scenes he was a sex-crazed megalomaniac on the prowl for underage ass.

  • 91 - ODB: Wu-Tang Clan Member, Crack Connoisseur, & Child Support Dodger

    August 8th, 2019  |  1 hr 15 mins
    baby mama, child support, drugs, idiot, rap, rapper, sex, wu-tang clan

    Unique rapper ODB sported a slew of nicknames: Big Baby Jesus, Dirt McGirt, & Joe Bananas. When he wasn't in the Wu-Tang Clan studio, he enjoyed indulging in crack, dodging child support payments, & abusing the American Welfare System. Freeee Money!

  • 90 - David Marshall Williams: Inventor of the American Chode Rifle

    August 1st, 2019  |  1 hr 31 mins
    america history, assault, bootlegging, carbine, comedy, craftsman, crime, drinking, drunkard, felon, guns, history, idiot, inventor, jail, murder, podcast, rifle, weapons, ww2

    Felon and drunkard David Marshall Williams found himself in and out of prison most of his life. You see, the one thing he loved more than moonshine was making homemade guns and killin'. His luck changed when Uncle Sam saw his chode-like carbine rifle and turned this country convict into a munitions millionaire.

  • 89 - Mother Teresa: Dirty Old Pain Succubus

    July 25th, 2019  |  1 hr 15 mins
    catholic, chilli, comedy, drinking, exploitation, history, nun, podcast, sister, suffering

    Oooh nice sweet little Mother Teresa... Nope! A terrible attention whore feeding off of others suffering.

  • 88 - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Allegro Analingus

    July 18th, 2019  |  1 hr 16 mins
    18th century, classical, classical music, comedy, composer, drinking, fetish, gross, history, mozart, music, party, podcast, poop

    The Loudest Podcast hosts Asterios & Sriracha join us for a roast of composer/party boy Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and his quest for the inbred brown note.

  • 87 - King Edward II (pt.2): Hugh Despenser, Royal Anus & YAS QUEEN Isabella

    July 11th, 2019  |  1 hr 15 mins
    14th century, beheading, change, civil war, comedy, dark ages, drinking, english history, execution, history, king, manhunt, medieval, middle ages, monarchy, podcast, queen, rebellion, royal

    King Edward II gets in bed with the ruthless Hugh Despenser, Queen Isabella has had enough & the Kingdom of England goes back to war. Heads are about to roll!

  • 86 - King Edward II (pt.1): Flesh Jousting with Piers Gaveston

    July 3rd, 2019  |  1 hr 5 mins
    14th century, comedy, dark ages, drinking, english history, gay, history, king, medieval, middle ages, monarchy, podcast, royal

    King Edward II of England was not the epic monarch leading his troops into battle, like his Papa Edward Longshanks. He was more into noodling on his crwth, playing in the dirt and seeing how far he can deep throat a banana.

  • 85 - Stede Bonnet: The Wussiest Pirate Ever

    June 27th, 2019  |  1 hr 3 mins
    18th century, booty, comedy, high seas, history, lame, looting, pirate, podcast, sea battles, ships, swashbuckling

    You know Black Beard. You know Captain Kidd. But have you ever heard of Stede Bonnet?!? This dude ran away from his wife & kids and took his billions to become the weakest pirate ever. Even going so far to set up a pirate HR for his crew.

  • 84 - The Collyer Brothers: NYC's Trash-Beast Hoarders

    June 20th, 2019  |  1 hr 23 mins

    These strange inbred Bronx brothers are two of history's most notorious hoarders. They packed 136 tons of trash into their brownstone apartment, blocking out all light to the outside world. We dive head first into the smelly mess that was the Collyer Brothers.

  • 83 - Carry A. Nation: Hatchet-toting Grandma & Party Pooper Extraordinaire

    June 13th, 2019  |  1 hr 21 mins
    20th century, alcohol, bar culture, booze, christianity, comedy, crazy, crazy lady, destruction, drinking, eggs, extremist, hatchet, history, icp, podcast, prohibition, protest, temperance, violence, women's history, women's rights

    This old bat just didn't want people to have fun! No drinking, no smoking, no gambling... And if you didn't follow her rules, she'd let you know about it!!!

  • 82 - President James Buchanan: The Dough-Faced Southern Sympathizer that Broke America

    June 6th, 2019  |  1 hr 20 mins
    american civil war, american history, bachelor, blunder, civil war, comedy, confederates, congress, dough face, drinking, drunk, first lady, history, homosexual, james buchanan, lancaster, lgbtq, lincoln, party, pennsylvania, podcast, politician, politics, president, racism, scandal, senate, senator, slavery, south, the white house, union, us government, washington dc

    Who do you think is the worst President? Well you're wrong! James Buchanan gave BJs to all the racist southern politicians and was hands down responsible the succession of the South. You know the Civil War... The time that Americans killed each other instead of blocked each other on Twitter.

  • 81 - Ivan the Terrible: Was pretty damn terrible

    May 30th, 2019  |  1 hr 35 mins
    16th century, comedy, czar, history, impale, medieval, monarchy, murder, murderer, noble, podcast, prince, royal, russia, russian history, serial killer, torture

    This Monster Energy drinking idiot loved to beat his head against the ground. And when he wasn't killing brain cells he was straight up torturing and murdering thousands of Russians.

  • 80 - Sam Hughes: WWI's Canadian Cry-Baby

    May 23rd, 2019  |  1 hr 54 mins
    army, battlefield, canada, comedy, corruption, enlistment, generals, history, lacrosse, militaria, military, nationalism, passchendaele, patronage, podcast, politics, prime minister, reserves, rifle, tactics, the great war, the somme, toronto, trench warfare, war, warfare, wwi

    What happens when you take a warmongering sociopath and put him in charge of the military right before the outbreak of WWI? Sam Hughes happens! The man responsible for countless Canadian deaths, child like hissy fits and shameless slander.

  • 79 - Andy Warhol: Voyeuristic, Commercial Meme Lord

    May 16th, 2019  |  2 hrs 3 mins
    1960s, 1970s, albino, american art, american history, andy warhol, art house, art of sale, artist, asexual, attempted murder, avant garde, avant garde film, bisexual, comedy, commercialism, drinking, drugs, film, gay, greenwich, history, lgbtq, mass produced art, models, nyc, podcast, pop art, pretentious, self centered, silk screening, the factory, thief, vain, voyeurism, weeny boy

    Did Andy Warhol singlehandedly destroy art or just invent the Meme? This frail little albino boy had a propensity for watching eccentrics slowly kill themselves at his Blade-style night club (- techno, vampires & cybergoths) The Factory.

  • 78 - Valerie Solanas: The Feminist Eugenist that gunned down Andy Warhol

    May 9th, 2019  |  1 hr 46 mins
    1960's, 1968, andy warhol, art history, attempted murder, avant garde, crazy, criminal, drinking, feminism, gay movement, greenwich village, history, hobo, lgbtq, murder, now, nyc, patriarchy, philosophy, podcast, pop art, powerful women, scum manifesto, the factory, writer

    Was the woman who gunned down Andy Warhol a radical feminist fighting the patriarchy or just a hobo Hitler that wanted to exterminate the inferior male gender? Find out as we roast the queen of bumming cigarettes and giving out quickies, Valerie Solanas.
    Plus a extremely kid friendly lesson about the birds and the bees from Travis.

  • 77 - Francisco Pizarro: Illiterate Pig-Farmer Conquistador

    May 2nd, 2019  |  1 hr 26 mins
    16th century, colonization, comedy, conquistador, discovery, drinking, explorer, genocide, gold, history, inca, llamas, murder, native, new world, peru, podcast, seafarer, sociology, spain, warfare

    Remember the Incans? No? Probably cause this greedy illiterate asshole and a bunch of other Spanish idiots wiped them off the map. All we got left... Llamas! Drooling, stupid Llamas.