Roast Mortem Cast

Dead men tell no tales. So we do it for them.

About the show

We've all been taught to venerate the dead. Where's the fun in that?! No one can take all their rotten secrets to the grave. Humans are just trash monsters that make mistakes, rub together and make more humans. So, let's grab some beers, bury inhibitions and dig up some dirt on history's most iconic departed.

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Episodes

  • 99 - Anthony Wayne: American Revolutionary War General Blasting in your Wife

    October 3rd, 2019  |  1 hr 45 mins
    american history, american revolution, comedy, corruption, financial disaster, founding fathers, general, history, independence, ohio, pennsylvania, podcast, revolutionary war, war hero, warfare

    Little known Anthony Wayne was one of the shining stars in the Continental Army during the American Revolution. He singlehandedly secured the United States future and its expansion westward. He also banged almost all of his friend's wives and sisters, while completely ignoring his own wife, children and finances. You can only be so much of a hero...

  • 98 - Lord Byron: Poetic Party Animal with Peculiar Penis

    September 26th, 2019  |  2 hrs 9 mins
    18th century, 19th century, bisexual, comedy, england, greece, history, nobility, party animal, podcast, poem, poetry, rich kid, sexuality

    Lord Byron slang his dick all over Europe banging boys, girls and close relatives. For those that he didn't poke directly, he wrote panty-soaking erotic poems while drinking a latte out of the skulls of his ancestors.

  • 97 - Jack Slade: Western Bad Boy with an Ear Fetish

    September 19th, 2019  |  1 hr 46 mins
    1800s, 19th century, americana, colorado, comedy, cowboy, frontier, great plains, guns, gunslinger, history, montana, podcast, pony express, western, wild west, wyoming

    Jack Slade was the Western gunslinger that you've never heard of. The fastest gun in the West he kept the long distance freight wagons in Colorado, Wyoming & Montana safe...if he like you.

  • 96 - Jimi Hendrix: A Lineage of Alcoholic Abusive Anuses

    September 12th, 2019  |  1 hr 28 mins
    1960's, abuse, broken homes, comedy, counter culture, drugs, drunk, guitar, guitar legend, hendrix, hippy, history, lsd, music, music history, orgies, podcast, revolution, rock, rock n roll, rockstar, sex

    Three roasts in one! Rock 'n Roll's legendary Jimi Hendrix, his abusive Dad & skanky Mom! Jimi's parent's created a nightmare childhood for their son. That's why Jimi learn from his parents mistakes and use a vodka bottle to bludgeon his girlfriends and have his pregnant baby-momma arrested. Can't raise a child if the police has it before it's born!

  • 95 - John Harvey Kellogg: Enema Enthusiast Extrodinaire

    September 5th, 2019  |  1 hr 46 mins
    1800s, abstinent, asexual, charlatan, diet, doctor, fad, health, teetotaler

    John Harvey Kellogg wanted to rinse your colon with yogurt, zap your eyeballs, and pour acid on your crotch. All of it allegedly for your own good! This quacked-up doctor would shame you for smoking, drinking, meat-eating, and meat-beating! Rest in Grease. You will not be missed, Dr. Kellogg!

  • 94 - Lou Pearlman: A Very Hands on Boy Band Manager

    August 29th, 2019  |  1 hr 22 mins
    90's, abuse, billboard charts, boy bands, comedy, drinking, fraud, history, music, podcast, pop music, scam artist, thief

    Justin Whang joins us as we roast the 90's greatest shyster, Lou Pearlman. This sleazeball failed his way to the top; from owner of an advertising blimp to the manager of NSync, Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block, LFO. All thanks to insurance fraud, fishy contracts and a never-ending supply of teenage boys.

  • 93 - Rasputin: Magic Sex Sorcerer or Siberian Village Idiot?

    August 22nd, 2019  |  1 hr 42 mins
    catholic, comedy, conspiracy, corruption, cult, history, murder, podcast, rasputin, russia, sect, sex magic, siberia, sorcerer, tsar, wizard, wwi

    Rasputin had one hand in a bucket of hardboiled eggs, the other up the babushka blouses of half the Russian aristocracy. With his creepy hypnotizing eyes, this man banged his way to the highest echelons of power and in the process shaped the modern world as we know it. Did he have supernatural powers or just a dangerous dong?

  • 92 - Charlie Chaplin: Silent Film Sex Addict

    August 15th, 2019  |  1 hr 58 mins
    1920s, 1930s, 20th century, actor, comedian, comedy, communist, drinking, drugs, film, history, hollywood, megalomaniac, movie history, movies, orgies, podcast, sex, sex addict, silent film, slapstick, underage

    Chapin was arguably the world's greatest physical comedians. On the silver screen he was the lovable Tramp, behind the scenes he was a sex-crazed megalomaniac on the prowl for underage ass.

  • 91 - ODB: Wu-Tang Clan Member, Crack Connoisseur, & Child Support Dodger

    August 8th, 2019  |  1 hr 15 mins
    baby mama, child support, drugs, idiot, rap, rapper, sex, wu-tang clan

    Unique rapper ODB sported a slew of nicknames: Big Baby Jesus, Dirt McGirt, & Joe Bananas. When he wasn't in the Wu-Tang Clan studio, he enjoyed indulging in crack, dodging child support payments, & abusing the American Welfare System. Freeee Money!

  • 90 - David Marshall Williams: Inventor of the American Chode Rifle

    August 1st, 2019  |  1 hr 31 mins
    america history, assault, bootlegging, carbine, comedy, craftsman, crime, drinking, drunkard, felon, guns, history, idiot, inventor, jail, murder, podcast, rifle, weapons, ww2

    Felon and drunkard David Marshall Williams found himself in and out of prison most of his life. You see, the one thing he loved more than moonshine was making homemade guns and killin'. His luck changed when Uncle Sam saw his chode-like carbine rifle and turned this country convict into a munitions millionaire.

  • 89 - Mother Teresa: Dirty Old Pain Succubus

    July 25th, 2019  |  1 hr 15 mins
    catholic, chilli, comedy, drinking, exploitation, history, nun, podcast, sister, suffering

    Oooh nice sweet little Mother Teresa... Nope! A terrible attention whore feeding off of others suffering.

  • 88 - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Allegro Analingus

    July 18th, 2019  |  1 hr 16 mins
    18th century, classical, classical music, comedy, composer, drinking, fetish, gross, history, mozart, music, party, podcast, poop

    The Loudest Podcast hosts Asterios & Sriracha join us for a roast of composer/party boy Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and his quest for the inbred brown note.

  • 87 - King Edward II (pt.2): Hugh Despenser, Royal Anus & YAS QUEEN Isabella

    July 11th, 2019  |  1 hr 15 mins
    14th century, beheading, change, civil war, comedy, dark ages, drinking, english history, execution, history, king, manhunt, medieval, middle ages, monarchy, podcast, queen, rebellion, royal

    King Edward II gets in bed with the ruthless Hugh Despenser, Queen Isabella has had enough & the Kingdom of England goes back to war. Heads are about to roll!

  • 86 - King Edward II (pt.1): Flesh Jousting with Piers Gaveston

    July 3rd, 2019  |  1 hr 5 mins
    14th century, comedy, dark ages, drinking, english history, gay, history, king, medieval, middle ages, monarchy, podcast, royal

    King Edward II of England was not the epic monarch leading his troops into battle, like his Papa Edward Longshanks. He was more into noodling on his crwth, playing in the dirt and seeing how far he can deep throat a banana.

  • 85 - Stede Bonnet: The Wussiest Pirate Ever

    June 27th, 2019  |  1 hr 3 mins
    18th century, booty, comedy, high seas, history, lame, looting, pirate, podcast, sea battles, ships, swashbuckling

    You know Black Beard. You know Captain Kidd. But have you ever heard of Stede Bonnet?!? This dude ran away from his wife & kids and took his billions to become the weakest pirate ever. Even going so far to set up a pirate HR for his crew.

  • 84 - The Collyer Brothers: NYC's Trash-Beast Hoarders

    June 20th, 2019  |  1 hr 23 mins

    These strange inbred Bronx brothers are two of history's most notorious hoarders. They packed 136 tons of trash into their brownstone apartment, blocking out all light to the outside world. We dive head first into the smelly mess that was the Collyer Brothers.