Roast Mortem Cast

Dead men tell no tales. So we do it for them.

About the show

We've all been taught to venerate the dead. Where's the fun in that?! No one can take all their rotten secrets to the grave. Humans are just trash monsters that make mistakes, rub together and make more humans. So, let's grab some beers, bury inhibitions and dig up some dirt on history's most iconic departed.

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  • 73 - Charles Domery: The Grotesque Human Dumpster

    April 4th, 2019  |  1 hr 25 mins
    18th century, abnormal, army, battle, cannibal, cats, comedy, competitive eating, disorder, drinking, eating, england, france, gluttony, history, human dumpster, hungry, navy, podcast, poland, prussia, strange, war

    Asterios Kokkinos joins in on the roast of Charles Domery; serial eater, cat hunter, turncoat and all around human dumpster.

  • 72 - Kim Jong-il: Ass-eating Communist Dictator of North Korea

    March 28th, 2019  |  1 hr 58 mins
    asia, asian, basketball, comedy, communism, crazy, crimes against humanity, dictator, dmz, drinking, global politics, history, hostile, kidnapping, korea, mass murderer, movies, murder, north korea, oppression, pants suit, podcast, politics, south korea, totalitarian, war

    When chubby little Kim Jong-il wasn't watching kaiju or Looney Tunes he was reinvented the rules of basketball, eating ass and starving his brainwashed people. Kim This pseudo-communist egomaniac that did absolutely nothing North Korea. Kim Jong-Un, if you or your spy network are listening, your dad sucked hard!

  • 71 - William Shakespeare: To Cream or Not to Cream!

    March 21st, 2019  |  1 hr 6 mins
    16th century, acting, adultery, bisexual, books, cheating, classics, comedy, conspiracy, cover up, drama, drinking, england, english language, history, julius caesar, literature, london, macbeth, masterpiece, murder, painting, piercings, plays, podcast, poetry, romeo & juliet, school, sex, shakespeare, teacher, the stage, theater, uk

    Was William Shakespeare an imposter? Maybe! We do know this Master of the English Language believed 'Anyth holeth is thyne goal' and he definitely got his ears pierced at Claire's.

  • 70 - Al Capone: Creamy, Syphilitic Italian Penne

    March 14th, 2019  |  1 hr 28 mins
    1930s, 20th century, bootlegging, boss, brooklyn, chicago, chitown, comedy, crime, drunk, embezzlement, gang, gangster, golf, gun violence, history, italian, italian american, killer, mafia, mobster, murder, murderer, new york, organised crime, pasta, pizza, podcast, prostitution, robbery, sbarros, scarface, std, syphilis, tommy gun, underworld

    He stole from the rich... and he stole from the poor. Syphilitic gangster Al Capone couldn't keep his dong out of trouble. Whether it was staring down the barrel or slamming a prostitute, his unstoppable scarfaced penne oozed thick, creamy Italian machismo sauce.

  • 69 - Hugh Hefner: Self Proclaimed 'Goo Boy'

    March 7th, 2019  |  1 hr 41 mins
    69, 70s, 80s, abuse, bunnies, call girls, comedy, control, drinking, hard, history, hugh hefner, magazine, playboy, playboy mansion, podcast, sex, sex bunnies, sex slave, sexual, sexual revolution, swingers, wet

    EPISODE 69! Ram that uncooked hot dog down your throat or lop up that oyster in a half shell, cause we're roasting sexual boy Hugh Hefner! The disturbing details we find out about the Playboy Mansion, is guaranteed to get any Bunny dry as sandpaper.

  • 68 - Boss Tweed: NYC's Obese Political Swindler

    February 28th, 2019  |  1 hr 31 mins
    1800s, 19th century, boss tweed, cheat, comedy, congress, corruption, democrats, drinking, fat, firefighting, gangs of new york, history, immigrants, lawyer, manhattan, new york, nyc, obese, phantom menace, podcast, politics, rich, wealth

    The original New York City fat cat. Worked over the political system to swindled over poor immigrants so he could suck down dump trucks of oysters. He was a big boy with a big attitude and was definitely in the Phantom Menace.

  • 67 - Tallulah Bankhead: The Flapper that Flops Out All the Two-Handers

    February 21st, 2019  |  1 hr 52 mins
    acting, actress, addict, bisexual, bourbon, broadway, celebrity, cocaine, codeine, coke, comedy, drinking, drunk, flappers, free love, group sex, history, hollywood, london, movies, new york, orgy, party, personality, podcast, sex, sex addict, singer, stage performer, std, tabloid, thespian, weed, west end, wwi, wwii

    With over 500 affairs and a daily consumption of 2 liters of bourbon, 150 cigarettes, an 8-ball of coke, weed and codeine, Tallulah Bankhead knew how to party. As queen of the 1920's flapper movement, every night was a yakked up orgy with a 2pm curtain call. But when you're constantly messed up. You constantly mess up.

  • 66 - L. Ron Hubbard: Sailing, Scientology & Satanic Sex Magic

    February 14th, 2019  |  1 hr 59 mins
    blasphemy, comedy, cult, drinking, fiction, history, hubbard, leader, navy, orgy, podcast, religion, sailing, satan, satanic, satanic ritual, scam, scam artist, scandal, sci-fi, scientology, sex, shipwreck, tax evasion, thief

    Everyone knows that L. Ron Hubbard started the world biggest scam, Scientology. But in his free time he enjoyed blindly crashing ship, a little bit of satanic sex magic and writing really bad science fiction which he used in the mythos of his 'religion'.

  • 65 - Jacob Frank: The Second Unkosher, Orgy Throwin', Jewish-Illuminati Messiah

    February 7th, 2019  |  1 hr 23 mins
    apocalypse, blasphemy, catholic, comedy, conspiracy, converted, crypto religion, drinking, drunk, greece, history, illuminati, incest, islam, israel, jew, jewish, judaism, kabbalah, kosher, leader, messiah, murder, not kosher, orgy, party, podcast, poland, polish, prostitution, rave, religion, scam, scam artist, scandal, secret society, sex, turkey, zion

    If you thought Sabbatai was wild, Jacob Frank doubles down his messianic attempt at an unkosher savior. We're talking orgies, incest, murder... the list goes on. Frank even helped found the father of all secret societies, the Illuminati. We confirmed it!

  • 64 - Sabbatai Zevi: Ham Sammich Eatin' Jewish Messiah

    January 31st, 2019  |  1 hr 37 mins
    apocalypse, blasphemy, comedy, conspiracy, converted, crypto religion, drinking, drunk, greece, hebrew, history, islam, israel, jew, jewish, judaism, kosher, leader, messiah, not kosher, orgy, party, podcast, prostitution, rave, religion, scam, scam artist, scandal, sex, talmud, torah, turkey, zion

    This 17th century attention-seeking goth convinced half of the Jewish population that he was the messiah by eating a bacon, egg & cheese. Come join the party and get ready for the rapture!

  • 63 - Pablo Picasso: Hefty Bag Cubist Paella Boy

    January 24th, 2019  |  1 hr 1 min
    art, artist, asshole, bull, comedy, cubist, drinking, drunk, great artist, history, legend, misogynist, paint, painter, picasso, podcast, sex, spain, womanizer

    Let us paint you a picture of a shirtless, hairy Pablo Picasso mashing his sloppy paint brush into whomever came his way. Riding of the bulls, try riding of the doormats.

  • 62 - Nikola Tesla: Electricity Boners & Pigeon Banging

    January 17th, 2019  |  1 hr 9 mins
    20th century, aliens, antisocial, awkward, bestiality, comedy, conspiracy, crazy, currents, drinking, edison, electrical, electricity, elon musk, furries, history, infrastructure, inventor, nikola tesla, pigeons, podcast, power, rivalry, science, tesla

    When Nikola Tesla wasn't conducting mad scientist electrical experiment, he enjoyed the tender moments with is one true love... a super sexual pigeon. That's right Elon Musk, Tesla was a furry!

  • 61 - William Walker: The American 'President' of Nicaragua

    January 10th, 2019  |  2 hrs 14 mins
    19th century, america, civil war, comedy, death, drinking, failure, filibuster, freebooter, history, jerk, mercenary, merica, mexico, nashville, new orleans, nicaragua, podcast, racist, revolution, san fransisco, slavery, south, southern, tyrant, war, wimp

    William Walker was a scrawny, entitled, doughy-eyed Southern racist that could not stop illegally invading Central America during the 19th century. Seeing that he was terrified of women, this was not your tequila fueled spring break like off of a 90s reality TV show. The only show he got was the dongs of his soldiers, as their pants rotted away on his death marches through the deserts and jungles of Mexico & Nicaragua.

  • 60 - Thomas de Marle: Medieval Crusader with the Truck Nutz to prove it.

    January 3rd, 2019  |  1 hr 46 mins
    bros, chivalry, comedy, crusade, fight, first crusade, france, history, knights, medieval, pillaging, podcast, royalty, swords, truck nutz, war, warfare

    When you think of the Crusades, do you think of knights in shining armor? Try goose following idiots with purple Truck Nutz on tied to their horses! We take a look at Thomas de Marle, the 11th century moron that just couldn't stop pillaging. Thought chivalry was dead?!? You don't know the first thing about it.

  • 59 - Jack "Sloppy Boy" Kerouac: Goof Troupe pt. 2

    December 27th, 2018  |  1 hr 31 mins
    alcoholic, antisocial, beat, beat generation, comedy, cover up, drinking, drunk, fake, freeform, hipster, history, hobo, hypocrite, kerouac, long island, murder, northport, on the road, podcast, poet, reading, road trip, san fransisco, scroll, teenage

    Beat legend Jack Kerouac joins the ranks of the Goof Troupe. His life and works are hailed as god-like by trust fund hipsters, free spirits that never out grew their teenage angst and men with grownie tails looking for an excuse to divorce their 3rd wive. We're stripping away all the bull and diving into the real Kerouac; his hypocritical conservative views, his mother-loving alcoholism and his accessory to murder.

  • Roast Mortem 2018 Countdown Special

    December 20th, 2018  |  2 hrs 4 mins
    2018, century, christmas, comedy, countdown, death, history, holiday, idiots, new years, new years eve, podcast, special

    It's that time of year! The 2018 Roast Mortem Countdown is upon us. We're counting down the 10 ten dead idiots that died on the 18th year of their centuries. So suck some eggnog, get spicy and deck your balls with some premium roasting!