Roast Mortem Cast

Dead men tell no tales. So we do it for them.

About the show

We've all been taught to venerate the dead. Where's the fun in that?! No one can take all their rotten secrets to the grave. Humans are just trash monsters that make mistakes, rub together and make more humans. So, let's grab some beers, bury inhibitions and dig up some dirt on history's most iconic departed.

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  • 83 - Carry A. Nation: Hatchet-toting Grandma & Party Pooper Extraordinaire

    June 13th, 2019  |  1 hr 21 mins
    20th century, alcohol, bar culture, booze, christianity, comedy, crazy, crazy lady, destruction, drinking, eggs, extremist, hatchet, history, icp, podcast, prohibition, protest, temperance, violence, women's history, women's rights

    This old bat just didn't want people to have fun! No drinking, no smoking, no gambling... And if you didn't follow her rules, she'd let you know about it!!!

  • 82 - President James Buchanan: The Dough-Faced Southern Sympathizer that Broke America

    June 6th, 2019  |  1 hr 20 mins
    american civil war, american history, bachelor, blunder, civil war, comedy, confederates, congress, dough face, drinking, drunk, first lady, history, homosexual, james buchanan, lancaster, lgbtq, lincoln, party, pennsylvania, podcast, politician, politics, president, racism, scandal, senate, senator, slavery, south, the white house, union, us government, washington dc

    Who do you think is the worst President? Well you're wrong! James Buchanan gave BJs to all the racist southern politicians and was hands down responsible the succession of the South. You know the Civil War... The time that Americans killed each other instead of blocked each other on Twitter.

  • 81 - Ivan the Terrible: Was pretty damn terrible

    May 30th, 2019  |  1 hr 35 mins
    16th century, comedy, czar, history, impale, medieval, monarchy, murder, murderer, noble, podcast, prince, royal, russia, russian history, serial killer, torture

    This Monster Energy drinking idiot loved to beat his head against the ground. And when he wasn't killing brain cells he was straight up torturing and murdering thousands of Russians.

  • 80 - Sam Hughes: WWI's Canadian Cry-Baby

    May 23rd, 2019  |  1 hr 54 mins
    army, battlefield, canada, comedy, corruption, enlistment, generals, history, lacrosse, militaria, military, nationalism, passchendaele, patronage, podcast, politics, prime minister, reserves, rifle, tactics, the great war, the somme, toronto, trench warfare, war, warfare, wwi

    What happens when you take a warmongering sociopath and put him in charge of the military right before the outbreak of WWI? Sam Hughes happens! The man responsible for countless Canadian deaths, child like hissy fits and shameless slander.

  • 79 - Andy Warhol: Voyeuristic, Commercial Meme Lord

    May 16th, 2019  |  2 hrs 3 mins
    1960s, 1970s, albino, american art, american history, andy warhol, art house, art of sale, artist, asexual, attempted murder, avant garde, avant garde film, bisexual, comedy, commercialism, drinking, drugs, film, gay, greenwich, history, lgbtq, mass produced art, models, nyc, podcast, pop art, pretentious, self centered, silk screening, the factory, thief, vain, voyeurism, weeny boy

    Did Andy Warhol singlehandedly destroy art or just invent the Meme? This frail little albino boy had a propensity for watching eccentrics slowly kill themselves at his Blade-style night club (- techno, vampires & cybergoths) The Factory.

  • 78 - Valerie Solanas: The Feminist Eugenist that gunned down Andy Warhol

    May 9th, 2019  |  1 hr 46 mins
    1960's, 1968, andy warhol, art history, attempted murder, avant garde, crazy, criminal, drinking, feminism, gay movement, greenwich village, history, hobo, lgbtq, murder, now, nyc, patriarchy, philosophy, podcast, pop art, powerful women, scum manifesto, the factory, writer

    Was the woman who gunned down Andy Warhol a radical feminist fighting the patriarchy or just a hobo Hitler that wanted to exterminate the inferior male gender? Find out as we roast the queen of bumming cigarettes and giving out quickies, Valerie Solanas.
    Plus a extremely kid friendly lesson about the birds and the bees from Travis.

  • 77 - Francisco Pizarro: Illiterate Pig-Farmer Conquistador

    May 2nd, 2019  |  1 hr 26 mins
    16th century, colonization, comedy, conquistador, discovery, drinking, explorer, genocide, gold, history, inca, llamas, murder, native, new world, peru, podcast, seafarer, sociology, spain, warfare

    Remember the Incans? No? Probably cause this greedy illiterate asshole and a bunch of other Spanish idiots wiped them off the map. All we got left... Llamas! Drooling, stupid Llamas.

  • 76 - Francisco Macías Nguema: Africa's Hitler that HATED smarty boys!

    April 25th, 2019  |  1 hr 26 mins
    60s, 70s, africa, african history, brain drain, cannibalism, colonialism, comedy, crazy, cult, cult of personality, dictator, drinking, drugs, equatorial guinea, execution, genocide, history, ignorance, intellectual, mass murder, murder, podcast, populism, psychedelic, spain, villain, witch doctor

    Do you hate four-eye'd, know-it-all smarty boys that, like you know, love to learn and read books? Then, congratulations! You're as much of an ignorant dumbass as Francisco Macías Nguema a.k.a. Africa's Hitler.

  • 75 - Benjamin Franklin (1776-1790): Franklin's War against Crown, Country & Family

    April 18th, 2019  |  1 hr 11 mins
    1776, america, american revolution, ben franklin, colonial america, comedy, death, diplomacy, drinking, england, espionage, founding fathers, france, history, murder, paris, podcast, scandal, sex, spy, war, war for independence

    The second and final episode on America's founding father Benjamin Franklin. The once dutiful royalist turns patriot, leaving a wake of propaganda, broken families and even the country he helped build.

  • 74 - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1776): Royal F-ckboy, Tabloid Journalist & Half-assed Inventor

    April 11th, 2019  |  1 hr 40 mins
    1776, 18th century, affair, america, american history, american revolution, ben franklin, brexit, britain, business, colonialism, colony, comedy, currency, drinking, entrepreneur, fake news, founding father, history, inventor, legend, london, loyalist, money, myth, newspapers, noble, orgy, parliament, patriot, philadelphia, podcast, politics, propaganda, revolution, royals, satanism, scandal, sex, success, tabloid, war

    We all know Ben Franklin as an American Patriot, but was he really?! In this episode, we're exploring the man before the Declaration of Independence. What we find is a self-serving, vain, adulterous royalist that was far from the Patriot portrayed on the 100 dollar bill... Plus we talk about his dick... yes there are drawing of it...

  • 73 - Charles Domery: The Grotesque Human Dumpster

    April 4th, 2019  |  1 hr 25 mins
    18th century, abnormal, army, battle, cannibal, cats, comedy, competitive eating, disorder, drinking, eating, england, france, gluttony, history, human dumpster, hungry, navy, podcast, poland, prussia, strange, war

    Asterios Kokkinos joins in on the roast of Charles Domery; serial eater, cat hunter, turncoat and all around human dumpster.

  • 72 - Kim Jong-il: Ass-eating Communist Dictator of North Korea

    March 28th, 2019  |  1 hr 58 mins
    asia, asian, basketball, comedy, communism, crazy, crimes against humanity, dictator, dmz, drinking, global politics, history, hostile, kidnapping, korea, mass murderer, movies, murder, north korea, oppression, pants suit, podcast, politics, south korea, totalitarian, war

    When chubby little Kim Jong-il wasn't watching kaiju or Looney Tunes he was reinvented the rules of basketball, eating ass and starving his brainwashed people. Kim This pseudo-communist egomaniac that did absolutely nothing North Korea. Kim Jong-Un, if you or your spy network are listening, your dad sucked hard!

  • 71 - William Shakespeare: To Cream or Not to Cream!

    March 21st, 2019  |  1 hr 6 mins
    16th century, acting, adultery, bisexual, books, cheating, classics, comedy, conspiracy, cover up, drama, drinking, england, english language, history, julius caesar, literature, london, macbeth, masterpiece, murder, painting, piercings, plays, podcast, poetry, romeo & juliet, school, sex, shakespeare, teacher, the stage, theater, uk

    Was William Shakespeare an imposter? Maybe! We do know this Master of the English Language believed 'Anyth holeth is thyne goal' and he definitely got his ears pierced at Claire's.

  • 70 - Al Capone: Creamy, Syphilitic Italian Penne

    March 14th, 2019  |  1 hr 28 mins
    1930s, 20th century, bootlegging, boss, brooklyn, chicago, chitown, comedy, crime, drunk, embezzlement, gang, gangster, golf, gun violence, history, italian, italian american, killer, mafia, mobster, murder, murderer, new york, organised crime, pasta, pizza, podcast, prostitution, robbery, sbarros, scarface, std, syphilis, tommy gun, underworld

    He stole from the rich... and he stole from the poor. Syphilitic gangster Al Capone couldn't keep his dong out of trouble. Whether it was staring down the barrel or slamming a prostitute, his unstoppable scarfaced penne oozed thick, creamy Italian machismo sauce.

  • 69 - Hugh Hefner: Self Proclaimed 'Goo Boy'

    March 7th, 2019  |  1 hr 41 mins
    69, 70s, 80s, abuse, bunnies, call girls, comedy, control, drinking, hard, history, hugh hefner, magazine, playboy, playboy mansion, podcast, sex, sex bunnies, sex slave, sexual, sexual revolution, swingers, wet

    EPISODE 69! Ram that uncooked hot dog down your throat or lop up that oyster in a half shell, cause we're roasting sexual boy Hugh Hefner! The disturbing details we find out about the Playboy Mansion, is guaranteed to get any Bunny dry as sandpaper.

  • 68 - Boss Tweed: NYC's Obese Political Swindler

    February 28th, 2019  |  1 hr 31 mins
    1800s, 19th century, boss tweed, cheat, comedy, congress, corruption, democrats, drinking, fat, firefighting, gangs of new york, history, immigrants, lawyer, manhattan, new york, nyc, obese, phantom menace, podcast, politics, rich, wealth

    The original New York City fat cat. Worked over the political system to swindled over poor immigrants so he could suck down dump trucks of oysters. He was a big boy with a big attitude and was definitely in the Phantom Menace.