Roast Mortem Cast

Dead men tell no tales. So we do it for them.

About the show

We've all been taught to venerate the dead. Where's the fun in that?! No one can take all their rotten secrets to the grave. Humans are just trash monsters that make mistakes, rub together and make more humans. So, let's grab some beers, bury inhibitions and dig up some dirt on history's most iconic departed.

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Episodes

  • 55 - Commodus: The Most Erect Roman Emperor

    November 22nd, 2018  |  1 hr 39 mins
    blood, blood sport, brutal, colosseum, comedy, demagogue, despot, drinking, emperor, entitled, fall of rome, famine, fight, fire, gladiator, history, imperial, murder, party, podcast, roman, roman emperor, rome, trust fund, tyrant

    Hey Ridley Scott! Think your Gladiator movie was so cool... Well Roast Mortem tells it better. You left out the parts where people drink out of penis cups like they are at a shitty Roman Dick's Last Resort.

  • 54 - Django Reinhardt: Gypsy Jazz Legend and Extra Hardt

    November 15th, 2018  |  1 hr 43 mins
    30s, comedy, django, drinking, france, french, guitar, guitar legend, gypsy, gypsy jazz, history, jazz, jazz guitar, music, music history, podcast, romani, swing, traveling

    We learn what it means to be a gypsy jazz guitar legend... Be extra French, smoke a billion cigarettes, blow off shows to go drunk fishing, and permanently screw up your meat claws in a caravan fire. Worked for Django Reinhardt.

  • 53 - Andrew Jackson: America's First Maniac President

    November 8th, 2018  |  1 hr 47 mins
    19th century, 50 cent, affair, america, anger, brutal, campaign, comedy, currency, democrat, deregulation, dollar, drinking, duel, elections, expansionism, genocide, history, imperialism, jackson, manifest destiny, military, money, native american, old dead dude, oppression, pistol, podcast, politics, president, revolution, ruler, scandal, shot, trail of tears, trump, us history, usa, war, war of 1812, western democracy

    You might know him as the 20 Dollar Bill Boy but in his time he was simply known as President Andrew Jackson. When he wasn't physically stealing other peoples wives, this wacky waving inflatable man was flexing America's Manifest Destiny boner, by systematically destroying native culture and spreading slavery. As his pet parrot would scream during his funeral 'ASSHOLE!'

  • 52 - Master Series: Horror Actors of Hollywood

    October 30th, 2018  |  1 hr 56 mins
    actor, affair, bela lugosi, boris karloff, classic film, comedy, dracula, drama queen, drinking, drunk, film, frankenstein, halloween, history, hollywood, lon chaney jr, monster, monster movies, podcast, scandal, universal monster movies, vampire, werewolf, wolfman

    We take a look behind the scenes at three of the most iconic Hollywood Universal Monsters, Lon Chaney Jr, Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. We'll they weren't the monsters.. actually they kind of were. Frankenstein, Dracula, The Wolf Man and The Mummy all in one room with one cookie. Who will finish last?!

  • 51 - Matthew Hopkins: Witch Hunter with an Eye for Third Nipples

    October 25th, 2018  |  1 hr 20 mins
    17th century, britain, church, comedy, crazy, crime, devil, devil worship, drinking, england, familiars, fraud, girls gone wild, halloween, history, murder, persecution, podcast, puritan, religion, satan, satanic, spirits, torture, uk, witch, witch hunting, witchcraft, zealot

    Witches Gone Wild! Matthew Hopkins, self-proclaimed Witch-Finder General, is about to turn your small English village into the hottest satanic spring break ever! The girls are up all night (against their will), ready to show off their hard extra nipples, and getting wet from hours of being dunked underwater for a confession of witchcraft!

    Yeah... Hopkins is that kind of zealot monster.

  • 50 - Helen Duncan: The Last Goopy Witch of Britain

    October 18th, 2018  |  1 hr 42 mins
    britain, clairvoyant, classified information, comedy, crime, debunk, drinking, ectoplasm, fraud, ghost, ghost hunters, ghosts, history, mi5, podcast, psychic, scotland, seance, spirit, talking to the dead, uk, war, witch, witchcraft, world war, ww1, ww2, wwi, wwii

    Witchcraft! Clairvoyance! Shoving cheese cloth up your vagina! We're taking an 'in-depth' look at Britain's last witch, Hellish Nell and her stinky, slimy ectoplasmic discharge.

  • 49 - Ty Cobb: Baseball's Dirtiest Player slides into your DMs

    October 11th, 2018  |  1 hr 26 mins
    all star, assault, bad sportsmanship, baseball, bases, brawling, comedy, drinking, fighting, history, legend, murder, playing dirty, podcast, sports, sports legend

    Baseball legend Ty Cobb played a dirty game on and off the diamond. His hobbies included…pistol whipping men to death, picking fights with amputees and digging out viscera from between his cleats. His level of violence really knocked it out of the park.

  • 48 - Charles Darwin: The Science of Boobies & Barnacle Dong

    October 4th, 2018  |  1 hr 21 mins
    19th century, awkward, barnacle, boobies, comedy, darwin, darwinism, drinking, england, english, evolution, facts, finch, friends, galapagos, history, podcast, sailing, science, scientist, theory, uk

    The father of evolution, Charles Darwin, spent his lifetime laboriously ogling the boobies of the Galapagos and rigorously examining the huge dongs of the promiscuous barnacles.

  • 47 - Martin Luther: The 95 Feces

    September 27th, 2018  |  1 hr 23 mins
    16th century, comedy, feces, hate, hemorrhoids, history, hypocrite, monastery, podcast, poop, pope, priest, protestant, protestant reformation, rebel, rebellion, reform, reformation, religion, scat

    Martin Luther was the founder of the Protestant Reformation, but between changing minds about the relationship between god and his followers... he was a hemorrhoid-scratching, foul-mouthed hypocrite who’s anti-Semitic fervor would eventually be the foundation of the Holocaust.

  • 46 - Janis Joplin: Attention-seeking, Free-loving Wannabe

    September 20th, 2018  |  1 hr 19 mins
    60s, 69, blues, comedy, counter culture, drinking, drugs, free love, hippy, history, love, peace, podcast, rock, rock and roll, san francisco, summer of love, texas, trippy

    Janis Joplin is remembered as the free-loving spirit of the 60s... but in reality, she was a freeloading, needy addict that was always 'too good' for the talented people that surrounded her. If she was so hip and in touch with her generation, why couldn't she write her own lyrics?

  • 45 - Albert Einstein: The Stanky Cousin Pounder

    September 13th, 2018  |  1 hr 31 mins
    antisocial, bomb, comedy, drinking, eggs, einstein, german, history, incest, math, nuclear, physicist, podcast, science, scientist, smart, ww2

    You think you know who Albert Einstein is, but actually he was a stinky, egg-sucking soup boy that liked to pound his cousin.

  • 44 - Wilbur Glenn Voliva: Flat-Earther, Evangelical Radio Host & Cult Leader

    September 6th, 2018  |  1 hr 23 mins
    anti-evolution, bible, christianity, comedy, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, crazy, cult, cult worship, drinking, evolution, flat earth, flat earther, fraud, higher criticism, history, oppression, podcast, radical, radio host, religion, revelation, scam, scopes monkey trial, worlds fair, zion

    Roast Mortem takes an inside look into Zion City, IL. ALL MUST OBEY THE OVERSEER! Overseer Wilbur Glenn Voliva has deemed dancing, whistling, bathing suits and of course modern medicine punishable by his praetorian police. Oh and lets not forget THE EARTH IS FLAT.

  • 43 - Master Class: Cooks 'Typhoid Mary and the Gals'

    August 30th, 2018  |  1 hr 26 mins
    20th century, baked goods, baking, cannibal, chef, comedy, cooking, crime, criminal, culinary, dating, disease, drinking, epidemic, food, history, ice cream, irish, italian, italy, kitchen, murder, new york, plague, podcast, poison, romania, romanian, soup, true crime

    You are cordially invited to the Roast Mortem's Master Class: Cooks. We will be entering the kitchen of three culinary legends to study their unconventional techinques, recipes and ingredients. Typhoid Mary and her Gals know the best meals are prepared with a little extra 'love'.

  • 42 - Tarrare: The Ravenous French Horror

    August 23rd, 2018  |  1 hr 25 mins
    anomaly, eats, france, history, tarrare

    Chris Paskett joins us as we roast Tarrare, the walking trash monster that could easily put any modern competitive eater to shame. Triple Quarter-Pounder? Try a wheelbarrow of bull viscera.

  • 41 - Ching Shih: China's Unforgiving Pirate Queen

    August 16th, 2018  |  1 hr 34 mins
    bad ass, capital punishment, china, comedy, decapitation, drinking, female pirate, high seas, history, ocean, piracy, pirates, podcast, powerful woman, prostitute, vigilante

    From call girl to queen of the high seas, Ching Shih became the most powerful pirate in the Pacific. While she was a brilliant strategist, some might call her a tad harsh to her crew. Where's your head at?

  • 40 - Sawney Bean: All in the Cannibal Family

    August 9th, 2018  |  1 hr 22 mins
    1500s, 16th century, ambush, cannibal, cave, cave dwelling, comedy, crime, criminal, drinking, history, inbred, inbreeding, legend, man eater, murder, podcast, raiders, scotland

    What's your favorite food at a family BBQ? Human haggis with a side of inbreeding, maybe? Emily Saltman presents a disturbing look into Sawney Bean and his family of cave-dwelling cannibals.