Roast Mortem Cast

150 - King Henry VIII: The Quest for the Cream Queen

October 1st, 2020  |  2 hrs 42 mins

16th century, affair, beheading, change, comedy, drinking, english history, execution, history, insanity, king, manhunt, monarchy, murder, podcast, queen, renaissance, royal, scandal

Once a dashing example of chivalric manhood, years of head trauma from jousting led Henry to devolve into a mad king with a soft boner and a pension for beheading, burning on the stake and hanging anyone that opposed him. That included two unlucky Queens that just couldn't stomach the King's cummies.

138 - Vlad The Impaler: Human Shish kabobs, Anyone?

July 9th, 2020  |  1 hr 48 mins

15th century, comedy, dark ages, drinking, gothic, history, horror, king, legend, medieval, middle ages, monarchy, murder, myth, podcast, romania, royal, torture, vampire

Dave from Not For Human Consumption joins us as we roast Romanian pokey boy, Vlad the Impaler. While he may have not sucked blood, nor could he turn into a bat, this torture mirco-manager sure knew how to throw a BBQ

136 - Robert Kardashian: The Simp, the Momager & the Hell Spawn

June 25th, 2020  |  2 hrs 34 mins

affair, american history, comedy, drinking, fashion, gossip, history, kardashian, law, lawyer, model, murder, podcast, pop culture, reality tv, self centered, sex, thief, true crime, vain, wealth

The Armenian heir to a rancid Meat Packing Company, yuppied his flaccid penis around LA's hottest nightclubs with his pal OJ Simpson. Everything changed when he met the teenager of his dreams and professional gold digger & cum dumpster Kris. And with that one of the largest cases of cultural brain drain had been unleashed on the world. The age of Kardashian had begun.

131 - Walter Jackson Freeman II: Freestyle Lobotomy Smooth Brain

May 21st, 2020  |  1 hr 56 mins

1960s, american history, comedy, drinking, history, kennedy, lobotomy, medical, medicine, murder, podcast, surgery, trauma

William Jackson Freeman II came from a long line of brain surgeons. To live up to his lineage he 'perfected' the art of the Lobotomy. He got so good at it he was offering $25 lobotomies out of the back of a van in the 1960's. Ever wonder who scrambled the brain of that Kennedy girl... It was good ol' Walt!

128 - Charles Guiteau: Serial Masturbator to Presidential Assassin

April 30th, 2020  |  1 hr 30 mins

america history, assassin, comedy, crime, drinking, felon, guns, history, murder, podcast, president, sex cult, true crime

Four times as the President of the United States been assassinated. But only once was it by a serial masturbator that was so strange he was kicked out of a religious, silverware-making sex cult.

125 - Jimmy Superfly Snuka: Coconut-brained, homicidal Hawaiian WWF Superstar

April 9th, 2020  |  2 hrs 20 mins

comedy, drinking, hawaii, hawaiian, history, idiot, kayfabe, murder, podcast, true crime, wrestling, wwe, wwf

In a land before time, when the WWF wasn't about saving animals, but about sweaty men grappling in the ultimate arena... so the 80's. There was a legendary wrestler that could fly higher, was more illiterate and probably murdered his wife... That wrestler was none other than Jimmy Superfly Snuka. Justin Waaland of Heavy Hole joins us to discuss this large stupid man, his drug abuse and his probable homicide.

104 - Gaston B. Means: 100% Shyster with a Dash of Geriatric Murder

November 7th, 2019  |  1 hr 47 mins

comedy, con man, conspiracy, detective, fraud, history, murder, podcast, private eye, thief

Gaston B. Means, besides having a hilarious name, was an oaf. This lumbering jackass actually testified against himself in court. How do you do that? By robbing, cheating and stealing anything he could get his hands on under the guise of being a 'Private Eye'. Also known a dick!!!

103 - Master Series: Child Stars 'Alfalfa and the Gang'

October 31st, 2019  |  2 hrs 8 mins

actors, brats, child stars, comedy, corruption, diff'rent strokes, drug abuse, drugs, fame, history, hollywood, little rascals, murder, podcast, porn, sadism, scandal

We're not roasting one but three child star divas! Sadistic Alfalfa got joy from hurting fellow Little Rascals. Diff'rent Strokes, Dana Plato went from America's sweetheart to a drug-riddled pornstar. And Hollywood's Brad Renfro made it big and burned out quick.

Did Hollywood corrupt these little shitheads or were they just idiots with a spotlight?

93 - Rasputin: Magic Sex Sorcerer or Siberian Village Idiot?

August 22nd, 2019  |  1 hr 42 mins

catholic, comedy, conspiracy, corruption, cult, history, murder, podcast, rasputin, russia, sect, sex magic, siberia, sorcerer, tsar, wizard, wwi

Rasputin had one hand in a bucket of hardboiled eggs, the other up the babushka blouses of half the Russian aristocracy. With his creepy hypnotizing eyes, this man banged his way to the highest echelons of power and in the process shaped the modern world as we know it. Did he have supernatural powers or just a dangerous dong?

90 - David Marshall Williams: Inventor of the American Chode Rifle

August 1st, 2019  |  1 hr 31 mins

america history, assault, bootlegging, carbine, comedy, craftsman, crime, drinking, drunkard, felon, guns, history, idiot, inventor, jail, murder, podcast, rifle, weapons, ww2

Felon and drunkard David Marshall Williams found himself in and out of prison most of his life. You see, the one thing he loved more than moonshine was making homemade guns and killin'. His luck changed when Uncle Sam saw his chode-like carbine rifle and turned this country convict into a munitions millionaire.