Roast Mortem Cast

62 - Nikola Tesla: Electricity Boners & Pigeon Banging

January 17th, 2019  |  1 hr 9 mins

20th century, aliens, antisocial, awkward, bestiality, comedy, conspiracy, crazy, currents, drinking, edison, electrical, electricity, elon musk, furries, history, infrastructure, inventor, nikola tesla, pigeons, podcast, power, rivalry, science, tesla

When Nikola Tesla wasn't conducting mad scientist electrical experiment, he enjoyed the tender moments with is one true love... a super sexual pigeon. That's right Elon Musk, Tesla was a furry!

61 - William Walker: The American 'President' of Nicaragua

January 10th, 2019  |  2 hrs 14 mins

19th century, america, civil war, comedy, death, drinking, failure, filibuster, freebooter, history, jerk, mercenary, merica, mexico, nashville, new orleans, nicaragua, podcast, racist, revolution, san fransisco, slavery, south, southern, tyrant, war, wimp

William Walker was a scrawny, entitled, doughy-eyed Southern racist that could not stop illegally invading Central America during the 19th century. Seeing that he was terrified of women, this was not your tequila fueled spring break like off of a 90s reality TV show. The only show he got was the dongs of his soldiers, as their pants rotted away on his death marches through the deserts and jungles of Mexico & Nicaragua.

59 - Jack "Sloppy Boy" Kerouac: Goof Troupe pt. 2

December 27th, 2018  |  1 hr 31 mins

alcoholic, antisocial, beat, beat generation, comedy, cover up, drinking, drunk, fake, freeform, hipster, history, hobo, hypocrite, kerouac, long island, murder, northport, on the road, podcast, poet, reading, road trip, san fransisco, scroll, teenage

Beat legend Jack Kerouac joins the ranks of the Goof Troupe. His life and works are hailed as god-like by trust fund hipsters, free spirits that never out grew their teenage angst and men with grownie tails looking for an excuse to divorce their 3rd wive. We're stripping away all the bull and diving into the real Kerouac; his hypocritical conservative views, his mother-loving alcoholism and his accessory to murder.

57 - Gregor MacGregor: 19th Century Trouble in Paradise

December 6th, 2018  |  1 hr 40 mins

british military, comedy, con artist, desert island, drinking, filibuster, fraud, freebooting, getaway, history, imperialism, military, new world, paradise, podcast, reinventing your life, scam, scotland, south america, starvation, survival, transatlantic, venezuela

Tired of rainy 19th century Scotland? Come to the South American Paradise of Poyias! We DEFINITELY have an Opera house, streets paved with gold... Hell we might even have running water! All you have to do is give all your money to Gregor MacGregor and jump on that boat.

56 - Edward Drinker Cope: History's Most Bone-Headed Paleontologist

November 29th, 2018  |  1 hr 34 mins

19th century, america, bone, bone wars, brontosaurus, comedy, dig, dinosaurs, discovery, drinking, excavation, explosives, feud, fossils, frontier, history, jurassic park, mining, moron, natural history, naturalist, nerd, paleontologist, paleontology, podcast, race, research, rivalry, science, scientific discovery, scientist, skeletons, tnt, wild west

Seen the documentary Jurassic Park? Think you know dinosaurs? Well, Edward Drink Cope sure doesn't... Even though he discovered a whole bunch of 'em. This dangus started a Bone War that shook the field of paleontology for centuries.

55 - Commodus: The Most Erect Roman Emperor

November 22nd, 2018  |  1 hr 39 mins

blood, blood sport, brutal, colosseum, comedy, demagogue, despot, drinking, emperor, entitled, fall of rome, famine, fight, fire, gladiator, history, imperial, murder, party, podcast, roman, roman emperor, rome, trust fund, tyrant

Hey Ridley Scott! Think your Gladiator movie was so cool... Well Roast Mortem tells it better. You left out the parts where people drink out of penis cups like they are at a shitty Roman Dick's Last Resort.

54 - Django Reinhardt: Gypsy Jazz Legend and Extra Hardt

November 15th, 2018  |  1 hr 43 mins

30s, comedy, django, drinking, france, french, guitar, guitar legend, gypsy, gypsy jazz, history, jazz, jazz guitar, music, music history, podcast, romani, swing, traveling

We learn what it means to be a gypsy jazz guitar legend... Be extra French, smoke a billion cigarettes, blow off shows to go drunk fishing, and permanently screw up your meat claws in a caravan fire. Worked for Django Reinhardt.

53 - Andrew Jackson: America's First Maniac President

November 8th, 2018  |  1 hr 47 mins

19th century, 50 cent, affair, america, anger, brutal, campaign, comedy, currency, democrat, deregulation, dollar, drinking, duel, elections, expansionism, genocide, history, imperialism, jackson, manifest destiny, military, money, native american, old dead dude, oppression, pistol, podcast, politics, president, revolution, ruler, scandal, shot, trail of tears, trump, us history, usa, war, war of 1812, western democracy

You might know him as the 20 Dollar Bill Boy but in his time he was simply known as President Andrew Jackson. When he wasn't physically stealing other peoples wives, this wacky waving inflatable man was flexing America's Manifest Destiny boner, by systematically destroying native culture and spreading slavery. As his pet parrot would scream during his funeral 'ASSHOLE!'

52 - Master Series: Horror Actors of Hollywood

October 30th, 2018  |  1 hr 56 mins

actor, affair, bela lugosi, boris karloff, classic film, comedy, dracula, drama queen, drinking, drunk, film, frankenstein, halloween, history, hollywood, lon chaney jr, monster, monster movies, podcast, scandal, universal monster movies, vampire, werewolf, wolfman

We take a look behind the scenes at three of the most iconic Hollywood Universal Monsters, Lon Chaney Jr, Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. We'll they weren't the monsters.. actually they kind of were. Frankenstein, Dracula, The Wolf Man and The Mummy all in one room with one cookie. Who will finish last?!

51 - Matthew Hopkins: Witch Hunter with an Eye for Third Nipples

October 25th, 2018  |  1 hr 20 mins

17th century, britain, church, comedy, crazy, crime, devil, devil worship, drinking, england, familiars, fraud, girls gone wild, halloween, history, murder, persecution, podcast, puritan, religion, satan, satanic, spirits, torture, uk, witch, witch hunting, witchcraft, zealot

Witches Gone Wild! Matthew Hopkins, self-proclaimed Witch-Finder General, is about to turn your small English village into the hottest satanic spring break ever! The girls are up all night (against their will), ready to show off their hard extra nipples, and getting wet from hours of being dunked underwater for a confession of witchcraft!

Yeah... Hopkins is that kind of zealot monster.