Roast Mortem Cast

Dead men tell no tales. So we do it for them.

About the show

We've all been taught to venerate the dead. Where's the fun in that?! No one can take all their rotten secrets to the grave. Humans are just trash monsters that make mistakes, rub together and make more humans. So, let's grab some beers, bury inhibitions and dig up some dirt on history's most iconic departed.

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Episodes

  • 138 - Vlad The Impaler: Human Shish kabobs, Anyone?

    July 9th, 2020  |  1 hr 48 mins
    15th century, comedy, dark ages, drinking, gothic, history, horror, king, legend, medieval, middle ages, monarchy, murder, myth, podcast, romania, royal, torture, vampire

    Dave from Not For Human Consumption joins us as we roast Romanian pokey boy, Vlad the Impaler. While he may have not sucked blood, nor could he turn into a bat, this torture mirco-manager sure knew how to throw a BBQ

  • 137 - Andrew Carnegie: Monopoly Man Meets Momma's Boy

    July 2nd, 2020  |  3 hrs 8 mins
    19th century, america history, american business, comedy, drinking, gilded age, history, monopoly, podcast, unions, wealth, workers rights

    Capitalism gone WILD!!! Andrew Carnegie was not afraid to break up unions, scam his competition and make his workers' lives a living hell, but when it came to the ladies, he needed to check with his momma.

  • 136 - Robert Kardashian: The Simp, the Momager & the Hell Spawn

    June 25th, 2020  |  2 hrs 34 mins
    affair, american history, comedy, drinking, fashion, gossip, history, kardashian, law, lawyer, model, murder, podcast, pop culture, reality tv, self centered, sex, thief, true crime, vain, wealth

    The Armenian heir to a rancid Meat Packing Company, yuppied his flaccid penis around LA's hottest nightclubs with his pal OJ Simpson. Everything changed when he met the teenager of his dreams and professional gold digger & cum dumpster Kris. And with that one of the largest cases of cultural brain drain had been unleashed on the world. The age of Kardashian had begun.

  • 135 - John R. Brinkley: Hot & Heavy Goat Balls for Everyone!

    June 18th, 2020  |  2 hrs 40 mins
    20th century, american history, comedy, con artist, con man, drinking, fad craze, fraud, goat, history, medical history, medicine, millionaires, nuts, podcast, quackery, sex, sex drive, sex modification, snake oil, wealth

    If there was one thing John Rom was good at, it was slicing open a man's nut sack and chucking in some XL goat nads to give him that sexual prowess he always deserved. Doesn't that sound hot?! Well it was all the craze during early 20th Century! This could be the strangest 'doctor' we've taken a look at on RMC!

  • 134 - Gandhi: India's Extremely Racist Pacifist with a Spicy Enema Fetish

    June 11th, 2020  |  2 hrs 5 mins
    apartheid, ass stuff, comedy, drinking, gandhi, history, india, liberation, pacifist, podcast, protest, racism, racist, revolution, salty

    Gandhi is credited as history's greatest peaceful pacifists, but historians are quick to dismiss his incredibly racist rhetoric. From a child with a sadistic hobby of twisting dog ears, to supporting apartheid, the holocaust, and Nazis Gandhi was a pretty sick dude. Later in life, he'd offer free enemas to his female followers and bragged about sleeping naked with his grand niece without giving in to the urge to slip it in.

  • 133 - Elizabeth Taylor: Once a Child Star, Always a Child!

    June 4th, 2020  |  2 hrs 22 mins
    1960s, actress, affairs, american history, artist, comedy, drinking, drugs, film, history, hollywood, jewelry, lgbtq, movies, podcast, scandal, self centered, thief, vain

    The Queen of Bratty child stars, Elizabeth Taylor 'developed' into a sex icon that went through husbands like her back hair razors. Liz lead a life dogged by paparazzi, prescription addictions and a unrelenting urge to suck the fattest diamond out of the the most well-endowed dude, regardless of their sexual preference.

  • 132 - Jim Morrison: The Doors' Violent Anal Troubadour

    May 28th, 2020  |  2 hrs 22 mins
    1960s, american history, artist, classic rock, comedy, drinking, drugs, history, music, music legend, podcast, poet, rock and roll, self centered, singer, the doors, vain

    The Doors' front man Jim Morrison was a sloppy, sloppy boy that loved to force his way into any anus that crossed his path, sometimes at knife point! This 27 club manchild claimed to be the Lizard King, thought the soul of native american the police were shoveling off the road after a car wreck inhabited his body and his alleged death may have been all a cover up!

  • 131 - Walter Jackson Freeman II: Freestyle Lobotomy Smooth Brain

    May 21st, 2020  |  1 hr 56 mins
    1960s, american history, comedy, drinking, history, kennedy, lobotomy, medical, medicine, murder, podcast, surgery, trauma

    William Jackson Freeman II came from a long line of brain surgeons. To live up to his lineage he 'perfected' the art of the Lobotomy. He got so good at it he was offering $25 lobotomies out of the back of a van in the 1960's. Ever wonder who scrambled the brain of that Kennedy girl... It was good ol' Walt!

  • 130 - Heinrich Schliemann: The Lost City of Troy & the Glory-seeking Archaeologist the 'Found' it.

    May 14th, 2020  |  2 hrs 4 mins
    ancient greece, ancient history, archaeology, artifacts, comedy, con man, drinking, excavation, gold rush, greece, history, homer, money, podcast, wealth

    Arguably one of the most notable archaeologist in the field, Heinrich made history when he unearthed the lost city of Troy. Using his vast wealth, he then went about rewriting his own history and buying out anyone that questioned his sketch methods of excavation.

  • 129 - Idi Amin: Uganda's Big Dumb Dumpster Dictator

    May 7th, 2020  |  1 hr 36 mins
    africa, cannibalism, comedy, crazy, dictator, drinking, genocide, history, idiot, podcast

    Uganda had it bad when big fat dumb dumb Idi Amin took over the government by force. This disillusion dictator massacred his people, destroyed Uganda's economy and claimed the title of 'Lord of all Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in general and Uganda in particular'.

  • 128 - Charles Guiteau: Serial Masturbator to Presidential Assassin

    April 30th, 2020  |  1 hr 30 mins
    america history, assassin, comedy, crime, drinking, felon, guns, history, murder, podcast, president, sex cult, true crime

    Four times as the President of the United States been assassinated. But only once was it by a serial masturbator that was so strange he was kicked out of a religious, silverware-making sex cult.

  • 127 - Yoshie Shiratori: Expert Escape Artist and Soup Spitter.

    April 23rd, 2020  |  1 hr 44 mins
    comedy, crime, criminal, drinking, escape artist, history, jail, japan, japanese, podcast, prison, survival, theft, ww2

    Yoshie Shiratori is the ultimate escape artist, busting out of any jail that the japanese authorities threw him in. The problem was once he was on the outside, he couldn't seem to not keep his mouth shut about his jail breaks, most of which involved spitting soup, chilling with bears and dislocating his own arms.

  • 126 - Joanna Southcott: Gross 64 y/o Pregnant Prophetess

    April 16th, 2020  |  1 hr 54 mins
    comedy, cult, drinking, england, history, occult, podcast, pregnancy, psychic, religion, scam, sect

    Joanna Southcott was more than just your average crazy woman screaming about Revelations. She was the pregnant mother of the second coming of Christ at the ripe old age of 64. This religious freak show drove England and the World into complete madness.

  • 125 - Jimmy Superfly Snuka: Coconut-brained, homicidal Hawaiian WWF Superstar

    April 9th, 2020  |  2 hrs 20 mins
    comedy, drinking, hawaii, hawaiian, history, idiot, kayfabe, murder, podcast, true crime, wrestling, wwe, wwf

    In a land before time, when the WWF wasn't about saving animals, but about sweaty men grappling in the ultimate arena... so the 80's. There was a legendary wrestler that could fly higher, was more illiterate and probably murdered his wife... That wrestler was none other than Jimmy Superfly Snuka. Justin Waaland of Heavy Hole joins us to discuss this large stupid man, his drug abuse and his probable homicide.

  • 124 - Leonardo da Vinci: Penis-Obsessed Renaissance Master Artist

    April 2nd, 2020  |  1 hr 43 mins
    15th century, art, art history, comedy, da vinci, drinking, florence, genius, history, inventor, italy, master painter, masterpiece, milan, museum, painter, podcast, renaissance, science, scientist

    Historians, scientist and philosophers have all credited Leonardo da Vinci as one of the greatest minds the world has ever seen. What was this master genius thinking about? DICKS! Leo loved to draw, talk and lick penis. His obsession with ween and various scientific hobbies distracted him so much that many of his commissioned masterpieces went unfinished. He'd just up and leave his patrons high and dry and went back to doodling dongs.

  • 123 - H.P. Lovecraft: Cosmic Introverted Horror Incel

    March 26th, 2020  |  1 hr 53 mins
    authors, comedy, cosmic horror, cthulhu, drinking, history, horror, horror master, lovecraft, lovecraftian, occult, podcast, writers

    Author Jesse Pollack & Dan Jones of Podcast 1289 join us for a roast of H.P. Lovecraft, Cthulhu & Tentacle porn. This weirdo horror writer may have mastered cosmic psychological madness, but when it came bumping uglies, Lovecraft plead insanity. Oh and all of those stories of elder gods breeding with fisherman's wives... yeah that was just an allegory to his deep seeded racist fear of interracial relationships.