Roast Mortem Cast

Dead men tell no tales. So we do it for them.

About the show

We've all been taught to venerate the dead. Where's the fun in that?! No one can take all their rotten secrets to the grave. Humans are just trash monsters that make mistakes, rub together and make more humans. So, let's grab some beers, bury inhibitions and dig up some dirt on history's most iconic departed.

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Episodes

  • 148 - William Chester Minor: Verbose Self-Mutilating Maniac

    September 17th, 2020  |  2 hrs 31 mins

    William Chester Minor was classically deranged monomaniac who was handy with words, handguns, and surgical instruments. He also majorly contributed to The Oxford English Dictionary, standardizing the proverbial urchin-molasses-fire that is the English language.

  • 147 - Soapy Smith: The Mr. Clean of Wild West Con Men.

    September 10th, 2020  |  1 hr 52 mins
    abuse, alaska, arts and crafts, cards, colorado, comedy, con man, drinking, fraud, gambling, history, music, podcast, poker, scam artist, soapmaking, texas, thief, western, wild west

    Soapy Smith was the Wild West's freshest con-artist. With a soap kinder egg in one hand, some rigged walnuts in the other and a deck of cards rolled into his foreskin he swindled his way from Texas to Colorado to the Klondike.

  • 146 - Davy Crockett: American Frontiersman & Raccoon Casanova

    September 3rd, 2020  |  1 hr 53 mins

    REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!! This grizzled frontiersman embodied the American spirit of Freedom... Which is freedom for a select few... primarily white anglo-protestants... definitely not woman, native Americans or blacks... So I guess he wasn't into freedom at all... BUT he definitely had raccoon orgies in the woods. REMEMBER!!!

  • 145 - The Coors Family: A Legacy of Beer and Bullshit

    August 27th, 2020  |  2 hrs 23 mins
    1960s, american history, beer, boycott, brewery, brewing, comedy, conservative, drinking, german, history, marketing, paranoia, podcast, strike, think tank, union, workers rights

    Taste the Rockies and sit on the silver bullet, cause we are roasting the German-American Coors Dynasty. From its humble beginning in Golden, CO, Coors ballooned into one of the biggest breweries in the USA. Despite the fact that the long line of Coors were raging paranoid morons, that used wiretaps to spy on their employees, formed the biggest conservative think-tank in D.C and demoralized everyone below them.

  • 144 - Arthur Orton: The Tale of Two Penises

    August 20th, 2020  |  2 hrs 20 mins
    australia, comedy, con man, drinking, english history, english nobility, history, manhunt, podcast, wealth

    400 lb Arthur Orton was a man that lived triple lives... pun intended.
    Was he cockney seaman Arthur Orton? Or maybe Austrailian, stinky butcher Thomas Castro? Or conveniently lost at sea English Aristocrat Barronett Rodger Tichborne?
    The secret to his true identity lay untouched, hidden away for decades between his THICC thighs.

  • 143 - Count Dante: Martial Arts Fingering Master

    August 13th, 2020  |  1 hr 43 mins
    1960s, 1970s, american history, battle, beauty, chicago, comedy, dojo, drinking, fight, fighter, hair salon, history, karate, kick ass, lion, martial arts, playboy, podcast, porn, style

    Basically the Joe Exotic of Martial Arts, this Irish-American, faux Italian-named Spanish Count mastered the Japanese art of Karate. He claimed to have perfected the ancient, lost technique of Dim-Mak, or The Touch of Death, all while running a chain of bizarre Dojos, Playboy Bunny Hair Salon and hairy muff porn shops in the Chicago area.

  • 142 - Louis Armstrong: Tootin' Doody

    August 6th, 2020  |  2 hrs 16 mins
    america history, bebop, black culture, chicago, comedy, drinking, harlem, harlem renaissance, history, jazz, louis armstrong, mafia, mob, music, music history, new orleans, new york, podcast, rag time, satchmo, trumpet

    The life of this extraordinary trumpet player takes us through the evolution of Jazz itself. From razor wielding prostitutes, to Chi-town mafioso, the cultural explosion of the Harlem Renaissance and abroad; Louis lived a fast life! But his bowels were even faster.

  • 141 - Alexander Graham Bell: Ring, Ring, Ring... Eugenics Phone!

    July 30th, 2020  |  1 hr 47 mins
    19th century, america history, comedy, communications, craftsman, disabilities, drinking, history, idiot, industrialization., inventor, phone, podcast, scientist, scotland, scottish, sound, telephone

    Scottish born Alexander Graham Bell was a mad genius in the science of sound, improving the telegraph, inventing the telephone (Maybe?) and by proxy the Dick Pic... But fuck did he hate those deaf people with their flailing sign language!

  • 140 - Victor Lustig: Smooth Talk meets Smooth Brain

    July 23rd, 2020  |  2 hrs 20 mins
    art of the deal, betting, comedy, con man, drinking, france, gangster, history, mob, money, new york, otb, podcast, scam, scar, swindler, wealth

    Victor Lustig could talk his way out of a fleshy hairy bag. This infamous cat burglar con many a man out of their fortunes including syphilitic sausage mobster Al Capone. This man was such a smooth talker he even 'sold' France's most iconic landmark, The Eiffel Tower, for scrap to some greasy baguette slurpin' mook.

  • 139 - Sam Adams: Spicy, Revolutionary Puppet Master Deadbeat

    July 16th, 2020  |  2 hrs 17 mins
    america, america history, boston, burning, comedy, crime, democracy, drinking, drunkard, felon, founding fathers, history, looting, mob, patriot, podcast, protest, revolution, revolutionary war, riot, unrest

    Everything you know about the American Revolution is a LIE! This deadbeat revolutionary carefully crafted the mob violence that fueled the colonies fire for independence. The Sons of Liberty burned, looted, tortured, boycotted the city of Boston into a starvation.

  • 138 - Vlad The Impaler: Human Shish kabobs, Anyone?

    July 9th, 2020  |  1 hr 48 mins
    15th century, comedy, dark ages, drinking, gothic, history, horror, king, legend, medieval, middle ages, monarchy, murder, myth, podcast, romania, royal, torture, vampire

    Dave from Not For Human Consumption joins us as we roast Romanian pokey boy, Vlad the Impaler. While he may have not sucked blood, nor could he turn into a bat, this torture mirco-manager sure knew how to throw a BBQ

  • 137 - Andrew Carnegie: Monopoly Man Meets Momma's Boy

    July 2nd, 2020  |  3 hrs 8 mins
    19th century, america history, american business, comedy, drinking, gilded age, history, monopoly, podcast, unions, wealth, workers rights

    Capitalism gone WILD!!! Andrew Carnegie was not afraid to break up unions, scam his competition and make his workers' lives a living hell, but when it came to the ladies, he needed to check with his momma.

  • 136 - Robert Kardashian: The Simp, the Momager & the Hell Spawn

    June 25th, 2020  |  2 hrs 34 mins
    affair, american history, comedy, drinking, fashion, gossip, history, kardashian, law, lawyer, model, murder, podcast, pop culture, reality tv, self centered, sex, thief, true crime, vain, wealth

    The Armenian heir to a rancid Meat Packing Company, yuppied his flaccid penis around LA's hottest nightclubs with his pal OJ Simpson. Everything changed when he met the teenager of his dreams and professional gold digger & cum dumpster Kris. And with that one of the largest cases of cultural brain drain had been unleashed on the world. The age of Kardashian had begun.

  • 135 - John R. Brinkley: Hot & Heavy Goat Balls for Everyone!

    June 18th, 2020  |  2 hrs 40 mins
    20th century, american history, comedy, con artist, con man, drinking, fad craze, fraud, goat, history, medical history, medicine, millionaires, nuts, podcast, quackery, sex, sex drive, sex modification, snake oil, wealth

    If there was one thing John Rom was good at, it was slicing open a man's nut sack and chucking in some XL goat nads to give him that sexual prowess he always deserved. Doesn't that sound hot?! Well it was all the craze during early 20th Century! This could be the strangest 'doctor' we've taken a look at on RMC!

  • 134 - Gandhi: India's Extremely Racist Pacifist with a Spicy Enema Fetish

    June 11th, 2020  |  2 hrs 5 mins
    apartheid, ass stuff, comedy, drinking, gandhi, history, india, liberation, pacifist, podcast, protest, racism, racist, revolution, salty

    Gandhi is credited as history's greatest peaceful pacifists, but historians are quick to dismiss his incredibly racist rhetoric. From a child with a sadistic hobby of twisting dog ears, to supporting apartheid, the holocaust, and Nazis Gandhi was a pretty sick dude. Later in life, he'd offer free enemas to his female followers and bragged about sleeping naked with his grand niece without giving in to the urge to slip it in.

  • 133 - Elizabeth Taylor: Once a Child Star, Always a Child!

    June 4th, 2020  |  2 hrs 22 mins
    1960s, actress, affairs, american history, artist, comedy, drinking, drugs, film, history, hollywood, jewelry, lgbtq, movies, podcast, scandal, self centered, thief, vain

    The Queen of Bratty child stars, Elizabeth Taylor 'developed' into a sex icon that went through husbands like her back hair razors. Liz lead a life dogged by paparazzi, prescription addictions and a unrelenting urge to suck the fattest diamond out of the the most well-endowed dude, regardless of their sexual preference.