Roast Mortem Cast

Dead men tell no tales. So we do it for them.

About the show

We've all been taught to venerate the dead. Where's the fun in that?! No one can take all their rotten secrets to the grave. Humans are just trash monsters that make mistakes, rub together and make more humans. So, let's grab some beers, bury inhibitions and dig up some dirt on history's most iconic departed.

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Episodes

  • 118 - Fritz Lang: Maniacal Monocled German Film Director

    February 20th, 2020  |  2 hrs 15 mins
    bdsm, comedy, director, film, film history, germany, history, hollywood, podcast, silent films

    This German Expressionist Filmmaker was said to only be able to orgasm if he tasted blood. Directing over 40 films in Berlin, Paris and Hollywood he beat down and beat off on countless cast and crew. The result was some of history's most iconic, groundbreaking films, such as Metropolis, M and Big Heat

  • 117 - Father Amorth: Make Exorcisms Great Again

    February 13th, 2020  |  1 hr 44 mins
    catholic, comedy, demons, exorcism, film, hell, history, paranormal, podcast, satanic

    Like the 1973 film The Exorcist? So did this geriatric, Italian priest. So much so that he used it as an inspiration to make exorcisms cool again during the 1980s & 1990s. Was Father Amorth really battling demons from the fiery depths of Hell or just yelling at mentally handicapped children? Have a listen and decide for yourself.

  • 116 - Henry Beecher: Founder of the 'Megachurch Backroom Special'

    February 6th, 2020  |  2 hrs 2 mins
    19th century, affair, church, comedy, con artist, history, megachurch, orator, podcast, preacher, religion, scandal, sex, slavery, suffrage, temperance

    What happens when you mix religious fame, a skilled smooth talker and a bunch of sheltered, horny 19th century chicks. One of the biggest sex scandals in American history! Henry Beecher, brother of the famous Harriet Beecher Stowe (Uncle Tom's Cabin), became the first American Preacher to become a media sensation. His lessons in chastity, temperance, women's suffrage and abolition, became overshadowed by his 40 years of seducing and scamming women and children in the backrooms of his churches.

  • 115 - Stevie Ray Vaughan: Texan Meth-head with Saucy Licks

    January 30th, 2020  |  1 hr 28 mins

    Stevie Ray Vaughan knew how to play the Blues! Unfortunately he didn't know how to pay bills, hold a stable relationship or manage his uppers. Although extremely talented this mooch of a man, bumbled his way through life sapping the skin oils off his bandmates, fans and strangers. Confused? So are we!

  • 114 - Leopold II of Belgium: Crimes Against The Congo & Condangs

    January 23rd, 2020  |  2 hrs 3 mins
    belgian, belgium, comedy, crimes against humanity, genocide, history, monarch, podcast, rubber, waffles

    Which tyrant of history caused the first ever Roast Mortem mid-roll, “bad vibes” break? Leopold II of Belgium!

    He brutally and systematically culled the population of the Congo in the early 20th century. But don't worry, this episode isnt all doom and gloom, this smooth brained monarch didn't know which hole to shove his Belgian waffle PP into.

  • 113 - Jakob Fugger: History's Richest Idiot

    January 16th, 2020  |  1 hr 55 mins
    16th century, accounting, amazon, bezos, business, comedy, commerce, germany, global trade, history, loans, podcast, royalty, scam, trade, warfare, wealth

    Want to get rich quick? Like 4 times richer than Jeff Bezos? Listen to how this 16th century german scheiße pretzel became history's richest man by scamming the the inbred Hapsburgs, a few popes and millions of german peasants. Oh and he started a beef with the hemorrhoid-scratcher Martin Luther.

  • 112 - Rob Ford: Toronto's Rotund Crackhead Mayor

    January 9th, 2020  |  1 hr 39 mins
    canada, comedy, crack, crackhead, drugs, drunk, history, mayor, ontario, party, podcast, politics, rob ford, toronto

    Rob Ford and his family, or the Canadian Kennedys, partied their way to the top. This train wreck of a lineage blew, guzzled, injected and smoked their way into the national spotlight all while dominating Ontario politics. Rob's partying and the rise of camera phones gave the world a wonderful glimpse into his crack-fueled late nights with the Canadian chapter of the Bloods.

  • 111 - George Psalmanazar: Phony Asian with a Fantastic Imagination

    January 2nd, 2020  |  1 hr 56 mins
    asian, charlatan, comedy, con artist, formosa, history, linguistics, podcast

    This French charlatan went around Europe claiming he was an asian man from the mystical land of Formosa. He went to such lengths to protect lie that he created an entire language, history, culture, even maps of his made-up land.

  • 110 - Theodosius I: The Roman Emperor that Started the Dark Ages

    December 26th, 2019  |  1 hr 48 mins
    catholic, comedy, constantinople, dark ages, emperor, fall of rome, goths, history, orgies, podcast, religion, religious war, roman empire, rome

    Roman was one big party; orgies, wine, festivals and bad ass gods. Theodosius was having none of it! This roman emperor made Catholicism the state religion and plunged Europe into the Dark Ages. Party Poo Poo doodie head.

  • Roast Mortem 2019 Countdown Special

    December 19th, 2019  |  2 hrs 44 mins
    comedy, countdown, dead people, history, holiday, nye, podcast, special

    It's that time of the year again, The 2019 Roast Mortem Cast countdown. We are going through the ages digging up idiots that died on the 19th year of their century.

  • 109 - Giovanni Belzoni: Tomb Raiding Strongman Waterboy

    December 12th, 2019  |  1 hr 57 mins
    adventure, ancient aliens, archaeology, artifacts, carnival, circus, comedy, discoveries, egypt, egyptology, freak, history, mummy, podcast, pyramids, strongman, treasure hunter

    Through a series of random events, this 6'6 Italian strongman found himself history's first Egyptologist. Belzoni looted his way through pyramids and ancient tombs, mashing mummies and destroying priceless artifacts, creating an infamous legacy for envious archaeologists that followed in his massive footsteps.

  • 108 - Dr. Seuss: Manchild Author for Children

    December 5th, 2019  |  2 hrs 11 mins
    adulterer, aspergers, author, childrens books, dr. seuss, functioning alcoholic, illustrator, suicide

    Dick Masterson joins us as we roast infamous man-child, Dr Seuss. Dr Seuss was an alcoholic, adulterer who couldn't get his whimsical imagination or impulsive urges under control. When he wasn't playing the role of a screwy taxidermist, he stressed out one of his "handlers" to the point of suicide.

  • 107 - Aretha Franklin: The Soul Diva surrounded by Butthole Weenies

    November 28th, 2019  |  1 hr 33 mins
    african american, civil rights, comedy, diva, history, music, pedophilia, podcast, pop music, r&b, religion, singer, soul, strong women

    While she was a diva, Aretha was not a complete asshole. BUT the people surrounding her life, such as her pedophile bible-thumping father and abusive stamp-collecting husband, sucked a big one. Join us as we take a dive into Detroit's own Queen of Soul.

  • 106 - Roy Cohn: The Ultimate 20th Century Lawyer Scumbag

    November 21st, 2019  |  2 hrs 3 mins
    attorney, comedy, communism, con artist, conservative, corruption, history, homosexuality, hypocrite, lavender scare, law, lawyer, nixon, podcast, reagan, red scare, rosenburg trial, trump, tuna

    This homosexual attorney was responsible for almost everything terrible and corrupt that happened in the 20th Century. Roy had his fingers in the elections of Nixon, Reagan and was the role model and personal fixer to Donald Trump in the 80's. He was also responsible for ruining the lives of countless fellow gays by exposing them in a time where homosexuality meant losing your government job. He did this all while sucking down cans of tuna fish and waterskiing in the polluted waters of the Hudson.

  • 105 - Basil Zaharoff: WWI Merchant of Death with an Acorn Penis

    November 14th, 2019  |  1 hr 54 mins
    arms dealer, comedy, guns, history, machine gun, podcast, scam artist, warfare, wwi

    Basil Zarahoff dealt the the world's most powerful killing machine, the Maxim Gun, to most of the world's superpowers right before WWI; all while posing as royalty to nut in as many aristocratic ladies he could!

  • 104 - Gaston B. Means: 100% Shyster with a Dash of Geriatric Murder

    November 7th, 2019  |  1 hr 47 mins
    comedy, con man, conspiracy, detective, fraud, history, murder, podcast, private eye, thief

    Gaston B. Means, besides having a hilarious name, was an oaf. This lumbering jackass actually testified against himself in court. How do you do that? By robbing, cheating and stealing anything he could get his hands on under the guise of being a 'Private Eye'. Also known a dick!!!